Comments from others shape most of our actions. We learn from an early age what is acceptable and what is not through verbal feedback. Sometimes we disregard and do what we feel anyway, but usually we factor in the potential responses from others before choosing our course and evaluate the reactions afterward. No feedback equates to approval, indifference, or unawareness. But this is a dangerous assumption. Whether consciously or unconsciously, all that we do is recorded by those around us. Each action is a cumulative drop in a cup. It may not cause a spill, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t observed.
The new year is upon us. We’ve made our resolutions, and so far, so good. Those self-destructive decisions are behind us…so 2015. We feel a sense of growth and achievement. Maybe, just maybe, we have finally conquered the demons that were seemingly on a long-term lease with the option to buy inside us. But before we decide what we’ll repurpose the available space for, we must determine if it is truly vacant. Perhaps in our quest for self-improvement, we have merely removed ourselves from the temptation. While this is definitely a positive step, it doesn’t really evict the demons.
We all make mistakes and lament our choices, feeling pulled in this direction or roped into that situation. We convince ourselves that if we eliminate the bad influences, the poor decisions will go away. But the problems actually exist within us and are attracting other people and situations to us until we finally make the right decisions. It may not always be a conscious choice, but we end up exactly where we need to be. If our surroundings or the results are not what we expect or want, then we probably weren’t being honest with ourselves in the first place.