This is another installment in my “A Deeper Look” series peeling back the layers of Outside In to better understand the meaning of the setting, themes, characters, plot, and style.
In creating Outside In I envisioned a cross between The Catcher in the Rye and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Whereas Catcher is about how to enter adulthood without losing oneself and Fear and Loathing deals with finding the American Dream by destroying and abusing the symbols of American consumerism, Outside In proposes identity can’t be found or fabricated but emerges from within when one has the courage to let go.
This letting go for many of the characters in Outside In translates to a hedonistic pursuit involving alcohol, sex, and drugs, the vices so readily available to a person who wants to forget. These vices symbolize the modern trials people face in their journeys of becoming. What starts as recreational experimentation and the exploration of new experiences transform to obsession and complete loss of self. This descent into excess and instant gratification is meant to raise awareness of current societal issues with addiction and self-medication and pose the question, At what point do the tools we use in our journey become the focus of our search?
Watching the characters react with immaturity and irresponsibility to deal with their lives is often frustrating and uncomfortable in the story. This is intentional and meant to represent what psychologist Erik Erikson referred to as a “Quarter Life Crisis”. Erikson theorized when events transpire to thwart the development of intense, intimate relationships for those in their twenties and early thirties, an identity crisis ensues triggering doubt of the life decisions made and the steps to take going forward, inducing feelings of betrayal, isolation, and loneliness. Related to the Quarter-Life Crisis, the characters’ actions are also meant to draw attention to the delayed rites of passage so prevalent in modern culture. With the abundance of choices, twenty-somethings are spending extended periods in higher education and living at home with parents for longer periods of time than previous generations. This uncertainty and fear to move forward into adulthood can create a paralysis in which a person is more likely to go backward than forward.
The connection to the title in Outside In is how the characters hide behind masks and veils and put themselves in environments to create the image of who they think they should be. They believe to become, they must change their outside worlds to allow their true selves to come out instead of strengthening their inner selves so that they emerge confidently and are no longer guarded and hidden. Evidenced in not only action but also in speech, the dialogue is often intentionally on-the-nose and represents another shield the characters use to protect themselves. They talk about passion and living life to the fullest but rarely do anything except escape to whatever vice is available. Outside In is rich in symbolism and meaning. Even the character names, from the main characters to the ones with supporting roles, have been chosen to say something about that person and also have a common theme connecting them all. But I won’t reveal all the secrets here. Just as one has to unwrap a present to appreciate the contents, peel back the layers and see beyond the party in Outside In.
Much of what appears on the surface of Outside In is a mask concealing a much deeper and sometimes opposite meaning. Although some of the events are similar to those in my life, everything that happens in Outside In is there for a reason and has many layers of meaning. Setting Outside In at Put-in-Bay on South Bass Island in the middle of Lake Erie might seem to those who know about my background as a connection to my roots. But despite growing up merely fourteen miles away from the island in the Lake Erie coastal town of Port Clinton, I never spent much time at Put-in-Bay in my formative years except for twice. The first was a sixth grade safety patrol spring field trip rewarding us for our service in which I remember only the waves being so high on the ferry ride back, I questioned I would ever leave firm ground again. The second was a rainy, chilly day after high school when a girlfriend and I snuck over to her family’s summer condo to be alone without the fear of parents pulling in the driveway and sparking the frantic search for clothes followed by the transparent facade of composure that nothing was going on when they entered.
Not until I left Port Clinton for college at Miami University, came back to teach junior high math for a year, then left again to teach in St. Louis, and I had the serendipity of connecting with a bunch of Put-in-Bay workers on a trip to Key West that I found my way back to South Bass Island. Despite my mathematics background, I guess I never learned the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. It was during the several summers I spent there while teaching in St. Louis during the school year that the contrast, mystery and beauty of the island resonated with me. I remember standing on the porch of the Round House, the very one described in the story, as golf carts buzzed by and people flowed through the park with the lake shimmering in the background that I thought, This would be the perfect setting for a literary novel.
Using an island as a setting in a novel is nothing new. The unique attributes of isolation, finite resources, and the influence of water have made islands a popular choice in novels ranging from Robinson Crusoe to Treasure Island to Lord of the Flies. Islands are recognized as a microculture and place for escape, transformation, or sometimes even exile and punishment. The archetype of the island is one buried deep in the psyche often representing the earth’s mandala and a symbol of unification of self. In Outside In, South Bass Island plays all these parts at times. But more than just a backdrop of where the action happens, the island serves as another character in the story, one that inspires, guides, challenges, and even levies consequences.
But why this island? Why choose to set the story at Put-in-Bay on South Bass Island in Ohio? Two unique factors set this island apart from all others and make it the perfect setting for a story about a teacher, who is fleeing from the haunting death of a student due to a drug overdose, becoming lost in a haze of excess and instant gratification. These attributes are, one, the contrast to the classic Manifest Destiny theme and, two, the Battle of Lake Erie history. By starting the journey of the protagonist in St. Louis, known as the Gateway to the West, but rather than forging west in search of a better life, he delves deeper into the middle of the country, it is a direct contrast to the concept of Manifest Destiny. With minimal external unexplored land and frontier remaining, the character’s path represents the need to look deeper in oneself to find the answers to problems and that dreams don’t lie on the horizon; they lie within.
The Battle of Lake Erie history, however, is the main reason why South Bass Island was chosen over all others. It was there that Oliver Hazard Perry led a decisive naval battle in the War of 1812 which secured the North shore for the US forces and established peace between US, Canada, and Great Britain. Commemorating the victory, which celebrated its bicentennial on September 10, 2013, stands the world’s tallest Doric column at 352 ft (107m) known as Perry’s Monument. The monument, which is the setting of many scenes in the novel, serves as a protective and comforting figure. It represents the conflict that took place there so long ago with Perry sending his famous message to William Henry Harrison following the battle, “We have met the enemy and they are ours.”, but it is also symbolic of the inner struggles the characters are having and contrasts the difficulty in the modern search for identity of knowing exactly who the enemy is.
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AN ODE TO … THE SPORTS BOOK
Sunday morning. A day of worship and prayer. We rush to our sacred space, full of optimism and faith. It’s a new beginning. We have learned from last week’s transgressions and developed a new strategy and plan. We seek more than salvation. We want growth; we want gain. The promised bounty awaits … as long as we choose wisely. We just have to get there on time. It is not the disapproving looks of parishioners we are trying to avoid if we are late — we have to get our bets in on time. The church forgives; the sportsbook doesn’t.
Inside, a bouquet of cigarettes, cologne and simmering hot dogs envelops us. We scan the others gathered here today. Based on the held glances and nods, we know it is more than the financial allure of parlaying an entertainment source into an income supplement or a life-changing windfall that brought us here. It is the opportunity to make connections and build rapport with friends, colleagues and even strangers, to be in a congregation where everyone is accepted and all opinions are heard.
The monitors stare back at us. They are windows to our future and will show us our fate. We stand aghast before the twinkling board. The letters and numbers blur together, flashing like stars. Our adrenalin surges. Sweat pushes through, adding to the scent swirling around us. We dig out our play sheet, deciphering our notes to match the patterns gleaming from above.
At the counter, the indifferent stare of the ticket writer shakes our resolve. We lower our eyes to our wrinkled play sheet and speak the language of this hallowed place. His fingers dance over the keys, culminating in a dollar total. We remove the sweat-damp wad of bills buried in our pocket and straighten the requested total, pushing it forward like an offering. In return we receive a solitary slip of white paper. Satisfaction shoots through us. We nod in appreciation. This is the one. With a single wager we are no longer just a spectator. We have a role in the drama about to unfold.
The game starts. We savor each play. Every twist and turn is an affirmation of our choice or a conspiracy to steal our boon. Of course we want the money, but more than anything we want to be right, to watch the scenario we professed come to fruition, to puff our chest out and say, “I told you so.” Only seconds remain. We move closer to the screen, as if we could help if needed. A sudden reversal transpires. Our probability plummets. The monitor confirms the unfortunate outcome. Our head slumps forward in defeat. We steady ourselves and rise with humility and grace. The cheers of those who only moments ago were losers remind us that one person’s bad beat is another’s luck box cover. We raise our eyes to the heavens and search the board.
What’s the next game? — Douglas Cooper
After all the days and ways and games we played,
I covered my heart and closed my mind.
Walking in the rain, hiding from the pain,
I kept searching for someone to blame.
With so much lying and desperate trying,
I avoided the truth buried deep inside
That under all the layers and hopeful prayers
We were both afraid to be the one who cares.
So even after leaving, I kept believing.
Ignored my head and trusted the feeling
Despite our fearful plotting, no way I’m stopping.
We might be lost but not forgotten.
When was the last time you saw Cousin Ted or Aunt Myrna? Chances are it was probably a wedding or a funeral—the only time people put aside personal triumphs and trials to publicly acknowledge life and death.
After attending a wedding or funeral, a person may pledge to value life more in the future, but once the ceremony ends and Life returns the blinders to his eyes, seventeen months or nine years will pass in a blink, and then one day he will be in a room with the same group, a few additions and deletions, all slightly older and heavier, mutually wondering where the time has gone.
This is not a banal attempt to motivate people to take life more seriously. Rather it is my recommendation to accept that just as everyone has an annoying drunk uncle, weddings and funerals will be the only time you see certain people for the rest of your life.
As with other fundamental laws of the universe, do not fight that which will not change. Learn to use the law to better position and strengthen yourself. Follow these seven rules and the weddings and funerals you dread may actually become the ritualistic ceremonies they are intended to be.
Dougie’s Rules for Weddings and Funerals
1. Clothes in your closet do not change; fashions and your waistline do. If the business casual society in which we live has decreased the frequency of the times you don that dark suit or black dress to the point a moving truck shows up at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue more often than you wear the outfit, try it on from time to time. And, if it doesn’t fit, have it altered. Don’t run the risk of your ass exploding out of your pants or your newly emerging fat roll introduce itself to the family when you bend over to pick up your nephew.
2. Ensure the presence of a social lubricant. Although this seems obvious, there are people who attempt to have dry events. Alcohol is on this earth because of family functions. If more than your immediate family is gathering, alcohol should always be present. While it may create a whole new set of problems, the problems are more entertaining than trying to bridge the awkwardness over orange Fanta. If you do not have a say in the decision, save yourself. Dig out the flask you got as a gift for standing up in your college roommate’s wedding and fill it with the strongest liquor you can tolerate. Don’t forget to pack the rest of the bottle with a case of beer in a cooler for the car. Once others realize you have alcohol, you will be the most popular person at the event.
3. Only take a date if you love the person. While it may be more tolerable to deflect or diffuse familial interaction by using a human shield, leave casual dates at home. Why subject another person to the people you avoid throughout the year unless that person is bound to you by love? Besides, weddings and funerals are great places to meet people. The grief, the joy, and Rule #2 can work to your advantage. One caveat to this is rule is if in clear conscience you can say that you are willing to go to your guest’s next family event, bring the person along, but beware of his or her motives. If you don’t want to be there, why should he or she?
4. Bring the kids along; leave the pets at home. Although the event may coincide with your date night, unless it is declared a “no kids” event, bring them along. They deserve to learn as early as possible about the family into which they were born. On the contrary, even though the dog may be considered a member of your immediate family; he may be better behaved than any of the kids at the event; and it wasn’t explicitly stated not to bring him, leave him at home or at the sitter. If you’re trying to make a statement about the new family unit of the millennium, see Rule #6.
5. Treat your cell phone like a cigarette: step outside to smoke; step outside to talk. This rule applies to all mobile media devices and all public places. I wouldn’t even mention it except for the repeated egregious transgressions. Although it may be more enticing to text the person you met last Friday or catch up on work e-mail, keep the phone in your pocket. You’ll only draw more attention to yourself and attract the people who everyone else is avoiding. In addition regardless of how cool you think you look with your Blue Tooth earpiece on, leave it in the car. Wearing an earpiece, is there a difference between you and the wrestler with the cauliflower ear who sat next to you in study hall in high school that you found revolting?
6. Do not use the event as your platform. There’s still two hours to go and you’ve run out of small talk. The temptation is to dive into some current events but stick to the how nice the flowers look and how tasty the food is (lying is permissible). If you’re exchanging superficial conversation, you’re still too deep. Think stratosphere; think ozone. Read a People magazine prior to attending. You’ll have plenty of trifling ammunition. Remember, no one cares what you think, just as you’re not interested in their theories about where the weapons of mass discussion really are.
7. Regardless how good relatives look, only compliment them once on their physical appearance (more than that is creepy). We all have that hot relative that just looks better and better each time we see him or her. Sure the person may only be related through marriage or be a distant cousin, but they are off the list. It’s acceptable to compliment or offer a consolatory or congratulatory hug ONCE. Any more than that and people will start referring to you as Jerry Lee. This is also where Rule #2 may backfire on you. What seems like a good idea after five shots of Jaeger may make you the subject of conversation for many events to come.
Imagine running down a narrow path in a dark forest. Moonlight straggling down through the ceiling of leaves offers the only light. Twigs snap under your feet. The ocean calls in the distance. You accelerate, but the sounds of the sea drift farther and farther away.
Dew dropping from the leaves chills your skin. Your pace quickens. Your breathing becomes heavier. Your heart feels like it will burst through your chest. But you’re still not getting closer. The synchronized pounding of your heart and feet and the faint call of waves are the only audible sounds.
You arrive at a fork in the path. The soothing murmurs of the sea fade. Noises from the surrounding woods scream out. Probing stares from invisible specters penetrate. You spin around, desperately searching for a sign of which way to go. Nothing.
When this happens in life, what do we do? In the absence of instinct, when we lose sight of the signs we have been following and are at a crossroads–completely forked up, which way do we go?
Robert Frost recommended taking “the road less traveled by”. But what if we can’t tell? Do we just pick a direction and go? Do we turn around and go back? Do we follow Thoreau’s advice and “Dare to strike out and find new ground” by blazing a new trail through the forest?
Life is easier and much more invigorating when a vision guides our actions; when we have experienced a “Wow!” or “Aha!” and scrape and struggle to reach the goal. But unfortunately we don’t always have that clarity. As energizing as pursuing a dream can be, the disappearance of that guiding force is equally as terrifying.
Whereas I have always advocated a plan of action – do something even if it is wrong – I am questioning whether any move initiated without full commitment and instinctive drive is merely a response to the fear of not knowing. If we are not running toward something, are we not avoiding something else?
Sometimes advice hangs with us because it resonates so clearly and others because we have no clue what the person is talking about, but for whatever reason, we can’t seem to let it go. One such statement has hung with me for many years: Have enough sense to do nothing when nothing is exactly what needs to be done.
It came from a principal at a junior-senior high school in St. Louis where I taught in my previous life as a math teacher. I was at the beginning of my working life and he was at the end. He had a large family with only daughters; I didn’t even have a plant.
When we conversed, I wondered whether he was really just happy to have another male to talk to or whether he felt obligated to share the abundance of wisdom that only a life surrounded by women provides. From southern Missouri he had the slow, drawn-out delivery that you would frequently seek out and gulp down like an iced tea from a rocking chair on his front porch on a warm August evening, but it was also one you sometimes avoided because you didn’t always have the time to listen.
When he uttered those words I remember thinking: The old man has lost it. What does he mean, Do nothing? Doing is being. If you want something out of life, you have to act. Sitting around and waiting is for the old and weak.
And so for many years I charged on. Sometimes when I came to the fork in the road and wasn’t sure which way to go, I went right and sometimes left; sometimes I went back and retraced my steps, wondering if I missed something along the way; other times I just set off blindly in a new direction. Regardless I was always moving.
But maybe when at a crossroads with no clue which way to go, the best move is to simply do nothing. When the sound of the sea has faded, and the probing stares and chilling screams radiate from the surrounding woods, just stare back into the darkness and smile. Abide with the uncertainty. Do nothing. Let the penetrating glances pass through. Allow the frightening cries to wash over. When the time is right, the path will reveal itself.
